So I’ve been gone for roughly a month – maybe a bit longer because I don’t recall the exact date of my last post (I’m too lazy to look it up). It’s been a wild time since then. A lot has happened, so it’s best we start from the beginning and maybe writing about this stuff will help with processing it.
It all started when I got my wisdom teeth taken out. I’m 23, so the dentist said now would be a good time because my body will heal easier. They’d been causing me a lot of pain recently so I figured why not? What’s the worst that could happen?
Well the surgery went fine. I woke up pretty hazy and in a great deal of pain but my god is modern medicine amazing. I had some great pills to take the pain and even better pills to take for the soreness in my jaw and teeth. I had a minor case of the hiccups, but the dentist said that would be normal.
What wasn’t normal was the fact that I still had them the day after… and the day after that… and so on until the Tuesday after getting my teeth removed. Imagine if you will, trying to sleep only to be woken up at four in the morning by your body hiccuping. It’s a nightmare. It got so bad at one point that I just stopped trying to sleep and instead played Risk of Rain at 5 in the morning.
Eventually I went back to the doctor and he told me that according to an anesthesiologist, there’s are edge cases of people being allergic to the anesthesia. In my case, the reaction led to a four day long bout of the hiccups. I also learned that because of the way my pain medication interacts with my body, it was prolonging the reaction. So I had to go off those. Eventually things settled down though and I’ve been fine ever. But holy hell was it terrible for those few days.
Then Wednesday rolls around. I believe I’ve blogged about my girlfriend before on here. I honestly can’t remember, but the short version is that we’d been together about 13 months at this point. She’d gone away to school though and so the last time I’d seen her was the day before classes started (end of August roughly). I was planning on visiting her the upcoming weekend.
So we’re texting and stuff and I’m just getting the sense that she’s not really interested in talking to me. That’s fine, I get wanting space, so why not just tell me? Don’t make it frustrating for both of us. So I decide to say something. The rest of our conversation on text is a bit of a blur, I honestly don’t remember how we got from that point to me asking her “are you still interested in me?”
Her response? “idk. I was going to talk you about it tonight when we skyped.” (We’d skype every night for an hour or so, just to see each other’s faces.
(Ugh, writing all this out is making me angry lol)
Naturally, I’m not going to wait several more hours before we can discuss this “face to face” so I just call her on the phone. Long story short (again), it lasts about fifteen minutes and by the end of it we’re no longer together. She claims to have fallen out of love with me. Which personally, makes little sense. I cannot possibly understand how you wake up one morning and just no longer feel anything for the person you’ve spent a year with. She said she’d felt this way for a few weeks actually. In which my mind exploded. We’d told each other we’d always come to each other and talk out our problems and I held my end of that. If there was ever anything that was bothering me, I’d talk to her about it. Yet when it would have mattered most, she decided to just hold it in. That more than anything pisses me off.
But she was four years younger than me, so perhaps the mistake was mine for dating someone much younger than me. There’s doubtless some immaturity still there. But whatever, it’s over now.
I’m trying to move on. Losing such a big piece of your life causes changes in your personality and though I haven’t noticed any myself (I doubt I ever will), my family has said something about it. And apparently they’re good changes, so I’ll take what I can get. Hopefully I’ll be able to build on all this and come out a better – and perhaps somewhat different – person.
I’ve got a ton of freelancing jobs now. So many that now I can support myself fully on them without having to work at that dreadful daycare center I was working at before. It’s kind of nice to be making a decent amount of money off of my writing.
There’s school too and that’s keeping my busy. Though the long days are driving me a little nuts. I already can’t wait for break.
And of course…. there’s always DOTA 2. Forever by my side, I can always take a break and hop on with my friend in order to clear the mind.
There’s other stuff in the works and definitely more things I want to write about. Alongside my freelancing I desperately want to get back into blogging. I want to write up a review of Rogue Legacy and my impressions of Destiny. There’s also an amazing board game I played that I can’t wait to talk about.
All in due time though! If you’ve managed to read this far down though, I’d like to give you a reward: